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ridge:

i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure

(via benmontoya)

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radgoku:

original-poster:

radgoku:

the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????

As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening

i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed

(via goldens-1-girl)

Chat
  • me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
  • me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN
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thanks:

for:

the:

memories:

even:

though

they

weren’t

so

great

(Source: nebranska, via goldens-1-girl)

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deanprincesster:

it’s so weird how grapes don’t really taste like anything on the outside. like if you just put a grape in your mouth it doesn’t have a taste. but then you bite down and you’re like whoa. that’s a grape

(via benmontoya)

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Reblog if today is not your birthday.

themockingjayd12:

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Merry Unbirthday, to you all!

Happy Unbirthday dear Tumblr nation

(via cca-is-humane)

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thesirensaresingingyourname:

So, my girlfriend wakes up in the middle of the nights sometimes, and if she notices I’m not close to her, she taps my face until I wake up and just holds her arms open and says, “Come. Warmth.” And then falls back asleep when I do as told.

(via youbetterknowhaturfightingfor)

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heckacute:

I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep. 

(via heavy-hangs-the-albatross)

Photoset

n0-sudden-revelations:

flatbear:

tickling-your-man-boobies:

dudewheresmycat:

give me the reasons not to reblog this.

they don’t exist

You don’t see many Mumford and Sons gifsets. This is really cool.

YOU DON’T SEE MANY MUMFORD AND SONS GIFSETS

(via cca-is-humane)

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aweepingangel:

i was never jealous of barbie’s body

i was jealous of all the shit she had and that fucking mansion and her pimp ass car and her hot boyfriend

(via holesinmypants)